Moments of Reverie
by brightspot149
Summary: Not one-shots, but various moments between a female Shepard and Vega. Starts about halfway through the game and will likely end post-game. Mostly an exploration of their relationship into friendship as well as what all of that flirting may lead to...
1. Chapter 1

**_I always find myself coming back to the third Mass Effect and enjoying it more than than the last play through. Of the characters introduced in this game, James and Javik are by far my favorites. I very much enjoy the banter between characters throughout the game, but I felt the story line with James was lacking a bit, especially the romantic one (the party scenes gave off some seriously creepy vibes). So, I decided to change up some scenes and create some of my own. It starts later on in the game but references earlier events. They aren't necessarily one-shots, but it isn't really a continuous story line either. This first chapter mostly uses existing material, but the next several are mostly original. Currently rated T to be safe, may change to M in later chapters. I have most of it written already and plan to release chapters regularly. As always, I don't own any part of Mass Effect, I just enjoy it. :)_**

* * *

Shepard paused when she heard laughter drifting from the lounge. She had been on her way to talk with Glyph about some data they'd found on a planet, but was curious what her crew was up to. Deciding to take a detour, she tried to think of an excuse for why she was dropping in. Anita couldn't help but smile when the door opened. It appeared that James, Garrus, and Kaidan were attempting to teach Tali how to play poker.

"No, Tali, you aren't supposed to show your cards yet," she heard Garrus instruct.

"You're next, Kaidan," James said.

By the look on Kaidan's face, he was likely dreading the fact that it was his turn. Anita neared the table and crossed her arms. "So… how's poker going?"

"I don't know, Shepard," Tali said. "I thought I was winning, but now I'm not so sure…"

"Shepard, you wouldn't want me to deal you in, would you?" James asked with a pleading look on his face.

"It's going that well, huh?"

"You can take my place, Commander," Kaidan said, laying his cards face down on the table. "I think I've got some laundry to do, or something."

"Yeah, laundry," James muttered under his breath. "Hey!" he exclaimed as Kaiden flicked him in the back of the head on his way out the door.

Shepard tried to stifle a laugh. "I'll play if you need me to." Before she could sit down, Tali also stood.

"I appreciate you trying to teach me, Garrus, but I need to get back to my duities."

Garrus sighed and followed her lead. "I understand. Mind if I come with you? I, uh, have a few ideas I wanted to discuss." Both left the room without saying goodbye.

Anita looked back to James who tossed his cards on the table and put his hands behind his head. "I didn't mean to break up the game."

"It's not you, Lola. I don't think they were having a good time anyway."

"Can I ask what started this game in the first place?" Anita asked, taking a seat across from him and starting to collect the cards into a pile.

"I came in for a drink and saw Garrus trying to teach Tali. He asked me to join. Kaidan had just been watching the two of them but then decided to join. It was doomed from the start."

Anita placed the stacked deck of cards in front of him. "We should be back on the Citadel soon enough. You can have some real competition then."

James stared at the cards, then reached for them. "I guess so." Anita felt the awkwardness heavy in the room, so she stood to leave. "Hey Commander-"

EDI came in before he could finish. She was mumbling to herself and wandered over to the bar, acting as if no one else was in the room.

Instead of finishing, James stood, said, "Never mind," and left.

* * *

Anita had done her best to try not to dwell on what EDI had interrupted James from saying a few days ago, but it kept pressing its way into her thoughts. It hadn't affected her performance today but she feared it would affect her ability to do her job. All of these years she had managed to keep her relationships with the crew platonic, but then James had joined the crew. At first the flirting hadn't affected her beyond amusement. However, the longer it continued and the more she learned about him, the more she found herself entertaining of ideas of pursuing something more than friendship. Once again, she pushed these thoughts away and sat down at the computer in her cabin to get some work done before bed. Anita consoled herself with the thought that if they both made it through this, then _maybe_ she could return the idea of the possibility of something more.

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she saw the amount of messages that had collected in the 12 hours she had been on mission. As she sipped her coffee she scanned the sender and subject. She started with older and worked to newer. Most of them were work and mission-related, some were thanking her and the crew for their assistance, and a few were from fellow crew members asking for some time with her. The mission always took precedence, but she very much enjoyed being able to spend one-on-one time with her crew. They probably ended up helping her more than she ever did them. Anita took a mental note to meet with Steve the next time they were at the Citadel and hoped he was continuing to heal.

The next crew message was from James. It was simply a request to speak with Anita in her quarters. She hoped it was a continuation of what he had tried to tell her a few days ago, but she also wondered if it had something to do with day's events with Ann. He seemed to have had a soft spot for her. Even though she was ready to call it a day, curiosity got the better of her and she called him up. While she waited, she continued to answer e-mails.

James' low whistle of appreciation got her attention and she stood to meet him at the door. "Like what you see?" Anita teased, crossing her arms over her chest and watching him take in his surroundings.

"In more than one way," he teased, throwing a playful wink in her direction before continuing to look around. "So this is what I have to look forward to, huh?"

The question took Anita aback. She had assumed, apparently falsely, that he had no intentions of moving up the ladder due to his past experiences. Though he presented initially as somewhat conceited, Anita knew that his career was a bit of a raw topic for him. "Thinking about getting your own ship, Vega?"

"Maybe when I'm too old and tired to fight."

Anita smirked at the humor, but saw it for what it was: deflection. "Did you just come up here just to insult your Commander?"

He stopped short of the bed and turned to face Anita. His face was unusually serious and he looked nervous. "I uh… I've been offered an opportunity to join the N7 program, when this is all over." He paused and Anita wasn't sure what to say so she waited for him. He struggled to maintain eye contact. "I'm not sure what to do. It is a lot of work. And honestly, I'm surprised they even offered it to me, given my past."

"James, they wouldn't have offered if they didn't think you were capable. A lot of us have a past similar to yours. Even though we wish we could change what happened, it somehow worked to build the sort of character that N7 looks for in its leaders."

James looked up at Anita and she detected relief. "So, what do you think I should do?"

"It _is_ a lot of work, but worth it. You are a damn good soldier and N7 could use a man like you."

"Thanks, Lola. That means a lot. I'll consider it." He hesitated again. "If you don't mind, could you keep this just between us?"

"Of course," Anita answered, letting her arms drop back to her sides.

"Well, I better get back down to the hanger. It's too soft here for me."

Anita snorted. "Trust me, the bed is harder than it looks." Anita regretted the words as soon as she said them and realized what they insinuated.

"Lola, is that an invitation?" James smirked.

Anita just played along by crossing her arms over her chest and shooting him a look.

"Alright, alright," he said, putting his hands up in surrender and backing up.

"See you later, Lieutenant."

"Good night, Lola. And thanks again."


	2. Chapter 2

Anita Shepard finally summoned the strength she needed to leave her bed and headed to the shower in her quarters. After removing her armor and underclothes, she turned the water for her shower as cold as it could go and forced herself in. She struggled to breathe for a few moments as her body adjusted to the cold, but the distraction was a welcome one. The cold water had the effect she intended: her thoughts were focused and the shower short. Anita had wasted enough time already, and she had plenty on her list to do. Once she shut the water off and began the process of putting on her informal clothes, the realization again hit her.

Five hours. It had been five hours since she, Javik, and Liara had returned from their failed mission on Thessia. She had lost Thessia and gained nothing. She had realized over the last five hours that what bothered her most was nothing positive coming from the mission. The loss of the planet, and a large amount of its people, would have been more bearable had they successfully retrieved the data. Shepard bit back an audible curse as she finished putting on her uniform and her thoughts turned to Cerberus. Her desire for justice caused anger to rise up as she thought about Cerberus using the very valuable data for their own selfish gains instead of for the potential salvation of the entire galaxy.

The clock read 1 am, but Anita couldn't stay cooped up in her quarters any longer. She had been dreading facing her crew, Liara in particular, but she was still a Commander and therefore there were expectations. As she finished fastening her boots, she selfishly hoped that all nonessential personnel were getting some shut eye and she wouldn't have to face them until morning.

First she headed to the CIC with her first stop being the war room to evaluate their team's progress toward total war readiness. When this caused her thoughts to stray toward Earth, the people laying down their lives there, and the possibility that the Crucible would never come to fruition, she decided to head up to the galaxy map. To her relief, Traynor had left her post for the night. While sipping on an old cup of cold coffee, Anita reviewed her messages from the day. She then plotted a course on the map for the next day, planning on an early start.

Once Anita had done all of the work she could, another glance at the time told her it was 2:30am. Sleep still felt far away. She sighed and stepped into the elevator, unsure of where to go next. She considered going back to her quarters to stare at the fish some more, but decided that wouldn't be distracting enough. Garrus was typically the one she would process with, but she didn't feel much like talking and he would never forgive her for waking him at this ungodly hour. She considered going to the observation deck, but that too would provide too much time to think.

Before Anita could change her mind, she hit the button for the cargo bay. When she wasn't able to get to the apartment for a workout, she used Vega's equipment. At first, she'd tried to use it without telling him. She knew how serious he was about is physical fitness and figured he wouldn't want anyone else using his equipment. In hindsight, she should have just asked but at the time sneaking around seemed to provide a way around a potentially awkward situation. After only about a week after her sneaking around, Vega had caught on. He'd sent a Normandy-wide e-mail asking "whoever screwed with my stuff" to come clean. Shepard did so that same day. After a brief discussion with James in the cargo bay, he'd agreed to let her use his equipment when she needed, provided he wasn't in the middle of a workout. Then he'd made some comment about as long as he could watch. Anita audibly snorted at the memory. She was still unsure as to the purpose of his flirting, but it did usually did get her to smile.

Normally she wouldn't mind if Vega was there, in fact sometimes she came down just to spend time with him, but not tonight. She was not in the best of moods and would struggle to meet his banter punch for punch. The doors opened and she was met with just the hum of equipment. Anita let out a sigh she hadn't been aware she was holding, and then headed left toward his equipment. She decided to work arms first, grabbed the bar, and began pull-ups.

During her third set of ten, Shepard released the bar and turned around to the sound of a clearing throat. James, dressed in his usual pants and grey t-shirt, headed her way from the elevator. "Tryin' to break my record, Lola?"

Anita turned back around, facing away from him, and proceeded to finish her set. "Not in the mood, Vega. Almost done."

"Okay, okay. And no need to hurry. You're not in my way, Commander. Just came down because I couldn't get any shuteye. Guess I'm not the only one." He stopped next to her, arms crossed.

It wasn't phrased as a question, but she knew he was fishing for information. She didn't plan to bite, at least not that easily. After finishing her last pull up, she headed to the weight bench. Even though she wasn't in the mood for a conversation, she did want to finish her work out. She felt him following her, but not too closely.

"You do know it's almost three in the morning, right?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Shepard said as she removed his oversized weights and replaced them with her preferred weights. It was no wonder he looked the way he did.

"I just didn't peg you for the late-night workout type."

Shepard settled into the bench, grabbed the bar, and answered before beginning her reps. "I don't make a habit of it." He silently moved behind her to provide a spot. Both kept silent as she worked through her reps. He had been around during her workouts before, but never participated. She would never admit it, but it did make the time seem to pass more quickly. "Surely you didn't come down here just to help your Commanding officer with her workout," she said as she finished her sets and sat up. James began to change out the weights and they switched places. Shepard hasn't planned on sticking around, but she felt obligated to repay his favor, and it was taking her mind off of things.

"I didn't, but workouts with a buddy are always better, right? And who knows, maybe it will tire me out." Vega began his reps and Shepard fought to keep her eyes on the weights. She's always made it a priority to keep relationships with her crew platonic, but James literally flirted with that line, and frequently. He also didn't keep his well-defined body a secret. She reminded herself that attractiveness and attraction were two different things. This allowed her the loophole of "appreciating" him without feeling like she was putting him in a difficult situation.

After he finished and sat up, she turned and moved to leave. Maybe a drink on the observation deck would help her sleep.

"I'm sure you did everything you could, Commander."

Shepard paused mid-step and turned to face him. He rarely called her Commander anymore. His formality caught her off guard, as well as the attempt to reassure her. "Sometimes 'everything' isn't enough."

"I know it feels like that, Lola." James' face remained serious. He broke eye contact, and his hand came up to rub the back of his head. "I don't mean to speak outta line. It's just that I get it. The feeling of failure I mean. Feeling the blood of those you swore to protect on your own hands." His gaze was distant, and for a moment she was grateful for the opportunity to think more of his pain than her own. In her own mind, she reviewed the story he'd told her when they were sparing about when he was stationed on Fehl Prime. He still hadn't divulged details, but she knew enough to understand the gravity of what he was telling her now. He often referred to himself as a "grunt", but she wondered if he was beginning to understand that she was human just like he was.

Anita decided to seize the opportunity and be honest with James. She walked back and sat next to him on the bench. Both rested elbows on knees and gazed at the floor. "Missions have gone awry before, but we've always finished them. This time, we not only didn't finish, but this was the final piece in our weapon against the Reapers. This failure may have doomed us all."

"That doesn't sound like the Commander Shepard I always admired. You didn't get your ship back because you always did thing by the book. You heard Anderson, had anyone else pulled all the shit you did, they would have had their ass kicked out."

"Unfortunately that responsibility comes at a great cost, James. I know my methods are unorthodox, but that doesn't always guarantee a win." Anita dropped her arms and fisted her hands. "All I can think of to do next is to hit Cerberus where it counts."

"Yes, ma'am. I'd like to be with you when you do."

Anita stood and turned to face him with arms crossed. "Any particular reason, Vega?"

"Let's just say they were involved with what happened on Fehl, and I feel like it's finally time for payback."

"Who am I do deny revenge? I'll let you know before we leave." Anita turned once again to leave. She'd thought avoiding people would be the best course of action, but the talk with James seemed to be bringing her personality back.

"Thanks, Commander." She heard James get up from the bench and follow her.

Shepard hesitated at the elevator door. "Not finishing your workout?"

"Nah."

Anita waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. They both boarded the elevator and before she could press the button for her quarters, James did it for her. She cocked an eyebrow in his direction. "I don't mean anything by it, Lola. Just thought I'd 'walk' you back."

Anita nodded her thanks. His thoughtfulness gave her pause. Once the door opened on her floor, she paused on her way out and turned to say thank you. Before she could, he said, "Just so you know, Lola, there is not ship I'd rather be on and other Commander I'd rather serve under. I'm glad I didn't stay on Earth." She attempted again to speak, but nothing came out before he hit the button for his own floor and the door shut.

"I'm glad, too," she said but he was already gone.


End file.
